[0.0s] previously on Dumbgeons and Dragons.
[2.4s] Lipsinki, I look forward to seeing your hometown.
[5.2s] Uh, uh, Vorunax, this is my teacher, uh, uh, Ms. Rabblebible.
[10.1s] Ah, Ms. Rabblebible, nice to meet you. You, uh, educated quite a pupil, from what I know.
[16.4s] Oh, thank- thank you, thank you. Uh, yes, yes, yes, come, come in, uh, uh, well, uh, let's talk.
[24.9s] She leads you down into the village and to the school.
[29.0s] And up here is where we keep, uh, our Grancises.
[32.6s] Grancises?
[33.8s] Yeah, multiple.
[35.0s] Plural?
[35.5s] Yeah, that's where-
[36.2s] Many Grancises.
[37.4s] Many grancye. Uh, yeah, yeah, Grancises, grancye, yeah, uh, yeah, that's where they all end up.
[44.5s] What? Why?
[45.8s] Uh, well, because, uh, we found Grancises, is, uh, they are, uh, travelers, uh, and we,
[53.0s] uh, like to keep them all in one place, uh, because they are dangerous to, well, orcas.
[59.0s] You know, I never thought that it would be like this. It's different.
[62.4s] Yeah, no, I'll take your weapon, please.
[65.0s] Oh, no, I- you know what? It means so much to me.
[68.5s] And here in Abyss, I- I cannot use it, yes?
[73.4s] Ah, true. In you go.
[76.4s] She goes in.
[77.6s] You are lost in this conscious state.
[84.9s] You go- you're, like, pulled into yourself at this moment.
[89.0s] And you're standing in this black, empty space.
[94.5s] The walls around you are gone.
[97.4s] You don't have your weapons.
[99.2s] You are alone.
[105.4s] Everything goes silent.
[109.8s] Welcome to Dumbgeons and Dragons.
[111.5s] I'm your dungeon master, Russ More.
[113.2s] He, him, also with me today is Tom Lair.
[116.2s] Yeah, that's me, he, him.
[117.4s] I am playing, uh, Flint, or Bort, or maybe a combo of both.
[123.0s] Who knows? We'll see.
[124.2s] Uh, and they both go by he, him as well.
[126.6s] And Amy More.
[127.7s] Well, that just threw me for a loop.
[130.3s] That's me.
[131.4s] I'm playing Thea Amastasia, she, her, and Night Hunter, who is she, they,
[138.4s] and I am she, her, and I am curious about what Tom just said.
[142.9s] Tom doesn't know what's going on.
[145.0s] Or does he?
[146.6s] Carla Mack's dead.
[148.3s] I trust nothing.
[149.4s] I trust nothing.
[151.2s] She, her, playing Lipsinki, Pip Diggins, also she, her.
[155.0s] Also trusts nothing.
[157.2s] And Kyle Glasset.
[159.2s] That's me, him, he, him, losing his religion in the corner as Vorunax,
[164.2s] and also he, him, glad to be back.
[167.8s] Always.
[168.3s] Well, it's not bad.
[168.9s] Why wouldn't you be back?
[169.8s] You're a regular cast member.
[171.4s] That's right.
[172.6s] That's right.
[173.1s] I didn't say that.
[174.3s] I didn't say it at all.
[175.5s] I'll cut it.
[176.6s] Yeah.
[177.0s] That's right.
[177.9s] Lovely to have you all here.
[179.1s] I can't wait for this.
[182.0s] Before we started recording, I did point out that
[184.8s] this is the last page in my season two book for notes, so.
[189.1s] Yeah, so things are not gonna go.
[191.0s] I'm not starting a new book for this one, everybody.
[194.3s] Impressive.
[195.1s] He's got like that one blank page that you see at the end of a line to a notebook,
[201.1s] so we've got a little bit of room, but not.
[204.4s] I've got, yeah, one, two, and then the back panel.
[208.0s] So three potential writing spaces, so that.
[210.9s] And a quarter of that page, so like.
[214.1s] Oh, that'll be.
[214.7s] Are we talking eight and a half by 11 or like just a steno pad or what do you got?
[219.9s] Eight by six, 10 by six, eight by four, no, eight by six.
[227.2s] Let's go eight by six.
[228.1s] Maybe nine and a half by six.
[230.2s] Okay.
[231.0s] Welcome to our new podcast, Measuring Notebooks,
[234.2s] where we don't have a ruler.
[238.6s] It's a two part series where one part we guess,
[241.1s] we all make an educated guess, argue about it,
[243.7s] and then the next part we actually get a ruler or a measuring tape and find it.
[247.9s] Mine just says on the front of my book.
[250.1s] Yeah, I would say our guesses would not even be very educated.
[253.4s] No, probably not, because I wouldn't even show you the book.
[257.5s] No, yeah, you'll just say it's a notebook and we'll go, oh, this is the color.
[264.1s] Where you can get all of those things if we do them is over on Patreon,
[268.8s] Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast, where when you are a patron,
[272.6s] you also get an episode dedicated to you like today's patron, Garrett Taylor.
[277.8s] Thank you, Garrett.
[279.2s] Thanks, Garrett.
[280.0s] You're awesome.
[280.5s] Too cool.
[282.4s] You can put in your guesses for how big this notebook is.
[285.8s] Please let us know.
[286.7s] In our Discord.
[288.0s] We will take any guesses and then let you know.
[291.0s] If I haven't thrown it out by then.
[291.8s] It's going to be real weird when people start putting guesses in there and I go, what?
[295.5s] And we're like, it's going to be in the future and we're not going to remember at all.
[299.3s] It's going to be months from now.
[300.4s] February, probably February.
[302.0s] So just put it in your calendars to be ready for-
[304.8s] It's not even December, y'all.
[306.3s] Yep.
[307.6s] Right?
[309.1s] I mean, we're totally recording this right before it comes out.
[311.9s] I mean, yeah.
[312.9s] Yeah.
[313.6s] Peek behind the curtain.
[314.5s] All right.
[314.9s] Thanks, Garrett.
[315.9s] Fuck it.
[316.3s] Let's play.
[317.7s] Yeah.
[322.0s] We hear the sound of three subsequent thuds that hit the ground after Thea,
[328.2s] Bort, and Guacamole finished their descent from the hole that they were
[333.5s] just sucked into having been led there by Garrett.
[339.7s] Everything is completely dark around you.
[342.0s] There's this echoing hum that you hear.
[346.2s] And a shining spotlight beams down upon the two of you.
[356.0s] And Thea, you look across to where you expect to see the body of a dragon-scaled flint
[364.3s] and see a blue-scaled dragonborn
[372.6s] that you recognize as the physical body of Bort.
[379.4s] No one told me there was going to be a costume change.
[382.2s] It's all about the reveal, honey.
[385.4s] Thea doesn't laugh at that.
[391.0s] What? How?
[391.6s] It's news to me, too.
[392.6s] Well, I mean, it makes me somehow less mad at you, but only slightly.
[402.5s] OK, I can work with that.
[403.9s] More so confused.
[406.2s] Yep, that's two of us.
[408.0s] Is the spotlight maybe like shines and shows your inner self?
[413.2s] I mean, I have as much knowledge as you do of the situation.
[417.3s] Thea looks down at herself just to be like,
[419.1s] like, still me.
[425.3s] Are we still shackled?
[427.1s] Were you shackled before?
[430.1s] No.
[431.7s] Yes, you're still shackled.
[434.5s] Wait, yeah, forget I said that.
[439.1s] Thea goes over and like makes sure Gwok's OK.
[442.6s] I assume she probably kind of flapped herself down.
[445.7s] I don't think a bird can naturally fall from a distance and not.
[449.5s] The shackled, though.
[451.8s] It's legs, sure wings.
[454.7s] You shackle birds.
[456.2s] All right.
[456.6s] You know what?
[457.6s] Maybe it is.
[458.6s] I don't know.
[459.2s] I only picture feet like in the animated Robin Hood.
[463.0s] Yes, sure.
[465.0s] Yep.
[465.8s] Not not the wings.
[469.7s] Yeah.
[470.0s] God, it's so good, guys.
[471.6s] She's got a concussion.
[472.9s] Well, it's because I don't know how mad I am at Bort right now
[476.8s] and how to properly express myself.
[479.3s] I know I threw you into it.
[480.5s] I know.
[482.8s] So how do we get out of here?
[485.2s] Well, you somehow figured out how to like totally get into somebody else's body.
[490.2s] So do you have any ideas of how we get out of here?
[492.4s] Well, I mean, I didn't I was put there.
[495.4s] I didn't figure it out.
[497.9s] You were like invited.
[502.2s] You were like a rude guest who wouldn't leave.
[506.8s] I left for a while.
[509.1s] Did you?
[511.3s] I mean, as much as I could.
[512.6s] Yeah, I just don't think it's really fair that, you know, Flint,
[519.8s] it's I don't want to say like a parasite,
[522.7s] but like, you know, when a parasite lives in a host and lives off of that host
[529.8s] and is able to thrive and just like be lucky to be alive because of that host,
[535.0s] but then takes over and kills the host.
[539.4s] OK, I hear what you're saying.
[542.3s] I don't think it's a fair characterization of what happened,
[545.7s] but I'll play along with the metaphor.
[549.7s] I mean, only the strong survive.
[551.1s] What can I say?
[555.1s] There's a flashing red light.
[559.0s] See, you said something wrong.
[560.7s] And a blaring horn that echoes out.
[566.0s] What kind of horn?
[567.0s] Blaring like.
[571.2s] Sorry.
[575.3s] It sounds like a guttural, echoing belch.
[589.4s] And then the light goes off and the horn goes out.
[592.2s] You're still standing in the spotlight.
[594.7s] Do you ever sometimes feel like you're in the middle of a game you don't know how to play?
[600.3s] I mean, yeah, that's kind of been my whole thing lately.
[604.7s] Why don't you step outside the spotlight for a sec?
[607.6s] There's a magic light showing me what's truly inside of Flint.
[612.5s] Can I get out of the spotlight, Ross?
[615.9s] Do you attempt to get out of the spotlight?
[619.0s] Don't fucking DM him right now.
[621.3s] Yeah, I'll start to like move towards,
[622.9s] maybe put a hand in out of the spotlight first, see what happens.
[626.4s] Bort goes and puts his hand outside of the spotlight and you lose all visibility.
[632.6s] You can still feel your feel your appendage,
[636.4s] but you can't see anything beyond where the light ends.
[642.2s] Still have your arm there.
[644.4s] I mean, feels like it.
[645.4s] I don't know.
[647.6s] Yeah, I think so.
[648.8s] I'll bring it back in.
[650.8s] Pull it back into the light.
[652.8s] It looks as it looks the same as it went down.
[656.6s] Okay, got some good magical darkness going on here.
[661.4s] I'd stick my head out, but frankly,
[663.1s] I was worried something was going to come and like
[666.0s] slice off your arm or something.
[667.8s] So oh my God, I didn't even think of that.
[671.4s] Oh, me neither.
[680.6s] We cut to Little Leaf.
[695.0s] Carla, describe me Hesse's
[699.8s] Magatorium.
[704.0s] I like it.
[705.7s] I think in opposition to what I would like,
[709.9s] what Carla would normally picture,
[712.4s] which would be like lots of vials and candles and just sort of chaos.
[716.8s] It is not that.
[718.1s] We're talking like sleek Scandinavian minimalism.
[722.1s] You wouldn't even know it was a Magatorium.
[725.6s] Does she know Arvid?
[727.8s] Because I feel that kind of clinical sleekness we've seen before.
[733.1s] Hadn't thought of that, but I mean, maybe.
[736.1s] Arvid's been around, I'm sure.
[737.4s] I mean, we all know Arvid's been around.
[739.6s] Arvid's certainly been around.
[743.7s] So yeah, it's very much like more fancy doctor's waiting room
[749.2s] than Hodgepodge of Esoterica.
[754.3s] Love it.
[755.2s] We see Lipsinki and Vorunax standing behind
[763.0s] a short-robed, very clean-cut gnome.
[769.8s] She's very carefully mixing ingredients into a vial,
[779.4s] and she pauses for a moment, turns around, and says,
[784.7s] Vorunax, if I could be so kind as to, well, could I have a scale?
[796.6s] Certainly, if it helps us achieve what we need to,
[799.8s] and I just pull out a little dagger and just kind of nick one off, hand it over.
[805.1s] Nope.
[805.8s] Does that hurt?
[808.8s] A little bit, but in comparison to recent events, not so much.
[812.6s] Of course, of course.
[813.9s] Well, maybe perhaps we will assist in that,
[817.8s] although you seem to be doing okay, no blood, okay,
[820.3s] as she turns around and puts it into a very small mortar and pestle and grinds it up
[827.4s] and adds it into the beaker, and it begins to bubble up to the brim
[835.0s] and then settles back down in this iridescent orange color.
[841.8s] Well, we've got, we need to get you back to the abyss.
[846.7s] Correct. What have you done so far? What did you just do there?
[851.7s] Well, we've created a bit of a break between the barriers between our reality
[860.7s] and the reality of the abyss. We will use this to open a gateway, a doorway, if you will.
[871.8s] So, you will have to consume it.
[875.4s] I know that's a little bit auto cannibalistic at this point.
[878.6s] I should have told you that first, perhaps.
[882.6s] But again, for the better good to get you back to where you need to go.
[887.3s] The only issue is, as you have perhaps not iterated yet, is where and where you're going.
[900.1s] Do we have a way to attune you, an item that lives, that comes from there?
[910.1s] Maybe. My arm is there, but I wouldn't want to appear where my arm is currently.
[918.3s] I don't think that would be wise.
[919.8s] The arm that you're missing. Yes, of course, yes.
[923.8s] Of course. There is a person I can think of that might be easiest to pinpoint,
[932.9s] mainly because, as far as I know and as far as I've heard, there's an infinite amount of this
[939.1s] one person currently on Thanatos, and they're a very powerful wizard.
[948.4s] Really? What do you mean to say when you say infinite amount of a single person?
[956.1s] Imagine, if you will, someone's timeline being fractured into an infinite amount of parts,
[962.2s] all of them being contained within one torturous cell for eternity.
[968.4s] Save for one shard who's been out and about and doing their own thing,
[971.5s] but that's neither here nor there.
[973.4s] As far as I know, they all exist on the plane of Thanatos, so I've actually prepared
[985.0s] a spell where I can reach out to this person. It may drive me a little bit mad if things go
[993.1s] wrong, but perhaps that could create the connection to at least the one that I know of,
[999.9s] the one that I've encountered.
[1004.6s] This is enlightening. Just a moment, I need to capture some of this. She turns around,
[1010.2s] she begins scrolling into her notebook. She's on the last page of that notebook.
[1018.3s] I'll get everything I can down about this. To fracture a being across different time streams,
[1024.8s] that would create some sort of paradox in and upon itself. While that sounds like a torturous
[1031.7s] event, it actually sounds like it's containing something that could be very catastrophic.
[1038.3s] It's true. It's very much a box of sorts that we don't really want to open the lid.
[1046.5s] I feel the alternative at this point, knowing what I've been told from Lipsinki,
[1055.4s] I'd be willing to take the gamble.
[1061.4s] Lipsinki, I don't know how you feel about it. Do you think...
[1065.8s] I know Grancis is about as well as you do, I feel.
[1068.9s] I think it's actually probably a great idea because I know
[1073.2s] in the future when you and I were together, sometimes we were making, I don't know, like
[1079.6s] 10, 20 new Grancises a week. He was kind of everyone's favorite to torture.
[1090.0s] It's really fun.
[1090.8s] Which seems weird to say in front of you, so just maybe forget I said that. I came back
[1097.4s] in time to save the world, so let's focus on that.
[1100.2s] Bygones be bygones.
[1101.4s] And also all...
[1102.2s] The present.
[1102.7s] Yes.
[1103.9s] Yeah.
[1104.7s] We've all made choices. We've all done things.
[1108.8s] Yes.
[1109.4s] If we live to tell the tale, I will regale you with all of those types.
[1113.4s] I can't wait to come back after we finish saving the world and find out
[1117.5s] kind of exactly what you're talking about.
[1119.5s] The epilogue on Hesses is going to be lengthy.
[1122.9s] She has a tattoo that she really regrets.
[1127.2s] Well, without that anchor or a way to peer in, this will get you there.
[1137.3s] Okay.
[1137.8s] As you have been there, you are an anchor in and of yourself,
[1142.0s] but you have been many places in the abyss, so there's no exact location.
[1147.4s] But if your spell that you have prepared works to perhaps view into or listen into,
[1159.4s] we could be able to, for a brief moment, tap into that.
[1164.2s] Well, as far as I know, if things go well, then I will be able to mentally reach out to them
[1170.2s] across planes for about a minute.
[1172.7s] Do you think that would buy us time?
[1174.7s] I...
[1175.5s] Yes.
[1176.3s] Give me a moment to prepare a few things.
[1179.5s] I will be right back.
[1181.1s] I just have to go get a couple more things from the stores.
[1184.7s] Very well.
[1185.5s] She hops down off of a stool and zips through a back door.
[1189.2s] It whistles as it closes.
[1192.2s] It whistles as it closes.
[1196.5s] Now, I know we have more important things to discuss, but what do you think she meant?
[1200.4s] Sounded like Hess's has done something or...
[1207.8s] I mean, I'm going to guess secret agent.
[1212.1s] Yeah, I can see that.
[1215.0s] I mean...
[1215.4s] Yeah, I mean, I don't know, but just seems fun.
[1217.6s] For a person of, you know, no offense, but for a person in this town,
[1223.0s] being able to send people across planes seems rather strange, personally.
[1228.1s] I wouldn't expect that, but...
[1231.7s] Yeah, I mean, she was always here when I was growing up, so I didn't think much of it.
[1235.9s] But I mean, yeah, that's pretty wild, right?
[1239.4s] That just in our tiny little village, there's such a powerful mage.
[1244.1s] So, I mean, God, we need to save the world,
[1246.6s] because I really want to come back here and find out what she's all about.
[1249.3s] Agreed, because now it seems like somebody that powerful,
[1252.7s] coming to a place like this, is hiding from something or someone.
[1257.2s] Absolutely.
[1259.1s] The door whistles back open.
[1263.4s] She comes back up and says, well, we've got a bit of a hair of a unicorn here.
[1268.8s] The scroll here should tell me exactly how to mix this in exactly the right time.
[1279.0s] Whenever you're ready.
[1281.0s] Varnock sits down and he begins to just start chanting,
[1284.9s] switching between abyssal, common, and draconic.
[1289.1s] And every once in a while, when it comes around to common,
[1291.1s] you hear Grancis mentioned, but eventually his eyes start to kind of turn.
[1297.0s] This like deep purple with swirling black.
[1300.0s] And I'm going to make my intelligence save.
[1302.7s] And God, I hope I beat the DC.
[1305.8s] Let's see.
[1308.1s] What spell is it we're doing?
[1310.0s] Then you press S.
[1311.8s] I am doing contact other plane.
[1314.6s] Oh, OK, cool, cool, cool.
[1316.2s] Grancis chat.
[1317.3s] Yeah.
[1320.6s] However, I got a seven on my intelligence saving throw,
[1324.2s] and the DC is 15, which means I take 66 psychic damage.
[1328.8s] Wow.
[1330.0s] Well, good thing you got a buff of 200, hey?
[1332.8s] Yeah, yeah.
[1333.3s] So I take 22 and I am insane until I finish a long rest.
[1341.6s] Yeah.
[1343.1s] Does it still work or?
[1345.0s] I really hope Hessis like put some vitamin C or something.
[1347.9s] It doesn't.
[1348.6s] It doesn't say it doesn't work.
[1351.5s] Uh, I would think the fact that it did work is why it broke.
[1356.6s] Yeah.
[1357.3s] But on a successful save, I can ask up to five questions.
[1360.5s] So like, it doesn't say that it doesn't work.
[1363.9s] So no, I think it still works.
[1366.3s] Like connection is made, but you just aren't allowed to ask questions.
[1370.5s] Yeah, yeah, pretty much.
[1371.7s] So the connection is made and you just hear,
[1376.2s] you hear Voronok's just kind of sitting there.
[1378.6s] Granzas, Thanatos, and just kind of mumbling to himself,
[1383.0s] like looking wide eye at things that don't exist.
[1393.6s] Night Hunter, you're standing in this void space.
[1397.6s] The bars around you, every time you try to move towards them,
[1401.8s] feel like you're never getting close to them, to grab them.
[1405.2s] You hear the sound of a soft, very familiar voice behind you.
[1419.6s] You turn and Elia is standing at 15 yards away from you.
[1429.4s] Elia, it's like I cannot get close to bars.
[1432.0s] They keep moving.
[1433.6s] You keep moving.
[1434.2s] I see that they're just, they're sort of,
[1439.8s] I mean, you're not in a great place right now.
[1442.1s] Of course I'm not in a great place, but you are here now, so that is good.
[1445.9s] Do I really have to go anywhere?
[1447.7s] What do I have to do?
[1451.4s] Yes, true.
[1452.2s] I mean, you were, I think on a bit of a mission to save the world,
[1458.1s] but if you're happy just to
[1460.2s] stay in the-
[1463.1s] Well, you know, I was not only one.
[1465.4s] I think I'm here with many people, but I've been in cell for,
[1473.0s] I don't know, a few minutes, a few days.
[1477.7s] I hear no one else.
[1483.2s] How is home?
[1483.9s] Did you guys defeat Orcus back on the beach?
[1486.5s] Oh, um, I'm not sure, I'm not sure about that.
[1493.9s] Did Opal finally get other cats out of woods?
[1497.8s] Oh, well, for some reason I can't remember, but I'm almost certain it probably took a while.
[1508.0s] You know what they're like.
[1510.6s] I'm not sure what to do here, Elia.
[1512.8s] I would admit to you, I would never say that to anybody else,
[1515.9s] but to you, I am not sure.
[1518.5s] I cannot reach Barth, part of me does not even want to anymore,
[1525.3s] because now you are here.
[1528.2s] So where do I have to go?
[1531.6s] Have you tried calling for help?
[1538.4s] It's so nice to be with you,
[1539.7s] but it would be nice to be somewhere a little bit nicer.
[1543.1s] Yes, this is...
[1543.8s] We can get out of...
[1548.2s] Well, I suppose I could.
[1550.6s] It's just, you know, you know me.
[1552.6s] I do not like, I do not like to ask for help, but...
[1557.2s] Oh, I wasn't suggesting you actually say help.
[1561.5s] I know, of course you would never, you would never do that.
[1566.0s] I was thinking more, you know, shouting sort of one of those,
[1570.6s] like a command, but you're actually asking a question.
[1573.6s] You know how you do when you're...
[1576.6s] Yes, I could do that.
[1577.8s] Perhaps there are guards somewhere, or...
[1584.0s] No, I am not sure what to say.
[1585.5s] I feel a little embarrassed, you're watching me doing like this.
[1590.3s] Oh, I'll turn around.
[1591.9s] Oh, yes, thank you.
[1593.0s] That is better.
[1595.6s] There is a guard.
[1596.6s] I need to speak with them now.
[1599.0s] Was that good, Elia?
[1600.6s] That was really good, that was really good.
[1602.2s] It was very demanding.
[1604.5s] People almost always listen to you because you're very intimidating.
[1607.0s] That is what I noticed.
[1608.1s] I do travel with some people here, though they have own ideas.
[1611.3s] I'm not even, I do not even want to be here.
[1613.8s] Hey.
[1616.5s] Did you hear that?
[1619.0s] Yes.
[1620.3s] Hey.
[1620.8s] Hello.
[1622.2s] Night hunter, is that you?
[1625.7s] Maybe.
[1626.8s] Who is this?
[1628.4s] It's your old buddy G-Dog.
[1634.1s] It's Grancis.
[1636.3s] Grancis?
[1637.1s] Yeah, look to your left.
[1640.0s] Night hunter slowly turns her head to the left.
[1643.8s] There's a Grancis who's been hung and his spine is like protruding out of his back.
[1649.8s] Sorry, to your right.
[1652.6s] Night hunter like stares for a moment.
[1655.5s] So what I feel like, I feel like she is in like a void where she can see the bars.
[1661.6s] She's in a room but not really a room and things are just kind of like appearing.
[1666.9s] You know when like you're watching theater and someone's standing on stage
[1670.1s] and then something shows beside them and you're like oh was that there the whole time?
[1673.9s] Exactly, yeah.
[1674.9s] Yeah.
[1676.5s] You see like a gaunt ghostly image of Grancis at a distance beyond these bars.
[1689.2s] We probably shouldn't have let Jared put us in here.
[1693.6s] Well you know it's not so bad for me.
[1696.1s] I'm talking to Elia so.
[1698.3s] Talking to who?
[1699.0s] There's nobody there.
[1700.2s] No, I'm talking to my wife.
[1701.7s] She is right back there and it's okay here.
[1705.5s] There's nobody there.
[1707.4s] It's really rude for you to say that.
[1709.2s] Elia, do you hear what he is saying to you?
[1711.8s] Tell him no one calls him G-Dog.
[1714.3s] Nobody calls you G-Dog.
[1719.3s] So who is lying now?
[1720.7s] Who is saying things that are not true?
[1725.8s] That's right, it is you.
[1729.0s] Yes, you have nothing to say now, do you Elia?
[1731.0s] He has nothing to say.
[1731.9s] I feel like I've won argument, right?
[1733.5s] I feel I've won conversation.
[1735.7s] You definitely won the argument.
[1737.3s] Maybe ask him how um you know how we can you could get out of there or.
[1744.7s] Well I mean I could ask but then I would not be with you so.
[1748.6s] Oh no come on remember our vows.
[1750.7s] I'm always with you in your heart so I mean wherever you go I'm going to be there.
[1755.3s] So don't worry about that.
[1756.2s] Yeah but when we make these vows one of us did not get sucked into abyss.
[1761.0s] That was more like like theoretical type of things.
[1765.9s] It's true we thought we were mostly going to be just dealing with opal problems.
[1771.6s] You turn and you look back at Grancis and he looks like he's still talking
[1775.7s] but you can't hear anything.
[1778.6s] He's getting further and further away from you.
[1783.0s] Then you turn and look back to Elia and you're alone in the cell again.
[1787.6s] Elia?
[1791.0s] Elia?
[1792.6s] Grancis what did you do with Elia?
[1795.8s] It echoes out.
[1798.6s] We cut back to Vorunax rocking back and forth.
[1804.5s] Uh yeah like there's this there's this snapping sound and Lipsinki and Hessus
[1815.0s] see Vorunax break.
[1818.6s] He begins he like folds himself up begins rocking and like the chant almost continues
[1827.4s] in a cyclical fashion after that.
[1830.2s] This doesn't look right.
[1831.4s] I mean I don't I haven't seen him do this particular thing but I've certainly seen a lot
[1835.7s] of people go insane and um uh I know we're kind of on a time crunch here because he can
[1843.7s] here because he can only maintain this you know connection for a minute but could you
[1849.4s] like is there anything you could just like chuck in that?
[1852.9s] Hessus is already turned around and is mixing up another uh another spell behind you like
[1861.1s] mixing components um and turning around and it's like this salve that she moves over
[1868.8s] uh to Vorunax and rubs like deep into his chest like moves underneath his
[1877.2s] Is it fixed vapor rub?
[1878.2s] It's fixed vapor rub.
[1879.0s] It's totally fixed vapor rub.
[1882.1s] You get the menthol eucalyptus smell that just courses up through you Vorunax um and
[1887.7s] Your sinuses have never been cleaner.
[1890.0s] Chanting slows and you in your your mental break begin to have clarity and it starts
[1899.2s] to come back she's cast greater restoration on you.
[1903.3s] Uh oh I've never cast that one before that was something I reached out for uh
[1912.3s] don't know if I will again but thank you thank you Hessus.
[1917.0s] Uh Grancis are you there?
[1920.6s] Hello?
[1923.4s] Grancis is there the um so
[1928.6s] Grancis?
[1931.0s] Hey.
[1933.2s] Not a question.
[1935.1s] Where are you?
[1937.8s] Well I'm in a cell.
[1942.0s] Who are you with?
[1942.8s] Uh just just just me just me and and my book my book's here.
[1952.9s] Good good.
[1956.9s] Can we come to where you are?
[1962.1s] Well if you want to be in this cell with me you could you could come here yeah yeah sure.
[1967.9s] I heard Nighthunter come in earlier but I haven't
[1971.4s] I haven't seen them lately.
[1975.0s] Okay uh I'm kind of gonna explain it to Lipsinki just like well I'm in contact
[1981.4s] I've got a couple questions left they're in a cell um but it would get us back there.
[1986.9s] What do you say?
[1988.0s] It's not like it's super well guarded or whatever down there I mean the whole place
[1991.5s] you know.
[1991.9s] Oh wait shit I still have my keys never mind let's.
[1995.4s] I was gonna say do you still have a key fob?
[1997.0s] Perfect yeah let's just get in the cell it's no problem.
[2001.4s] Easy peasy.
[2006.0s] Niddle you don't have to press that skip button.
[2015.0s] Oh I did not see that coming.
[2019.2s] Patreon mansion.
[2021.5s] How are we gonna rhyme with Patreon?
[2024.6s] I never do.
[2025.8s] Every time Russ always finds like the wildest hardest word and it's like
[2031.2s] this is this will be the last word in this dance.
[2033.9s] I won't even try it.
[2034.7s] He always ends sentences in orange and purple for some reason and it's just frustrating.
[2040.6s] Can't get into that rhyming structure with you it makes it very difficult.
[2044.2s] Anyways let's get to the meat of the business.
[2045.4s] Did you learn that in improv class?
[2046.8s] I learned it somewhere probably yeah I taught it to them in improv class.
[2050.9s] How to shut a scene down 101.
[2053.8s] Uh no is a good way and orange uh orange is also a good way.
[2059.3s] Uh what are we talking about?
[2060.9s] We have a live show coming up next week.
[2063.2s] I'm shaking my finger at you.
[2064.9s] He's just being very emphatic it's so close.
[2068.7s] We're gonna have a lot of fun and we want you to be there.
[2072.0s] Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast and guess what?
[2075.4s] What?
[2076.0s] Starting today starting today this very day.
[2080.1s] This very day.
[2081.4s] We now offer a seven day free trial when you sign up for a five dollar tier.
[2090.4s] Oh wait question question.
[2093.4s] Will people who have signed up for the free trial be able to attend the live stream?
[2096.7s] 100 percent.
[2099.2s] It's like a loophole.
[2100.7s] They have to come to the loophole themselves we don't point it out.
[2103.2s] I'm sorry you come to the loophole.
[2104.7s] Yeah but you do get access and maybe because you have so much fun you stay to eight days.
[2112.2s] Maybe there's a lot of bonus content over there.
[2115.3s] We're just about to record even more bonus content.
[2118.8s] It just never stops.
[2119.9s] So live show next week and if you sign up basically now through when the live show is
[2126.0s] you get in for free because of that seven day free trial.
[2129.0s] That seven day free trial doesn't stop uh that will always be available from now until
[2134.6s] they take it away from us on the five dollar tier.
[2137.0s] So new reason to go try to come over to Patreon and try it out just to see what you're missing
[2142.3s] which is a whole lot of episodes.
[2144.1s] So much stuff.
[2144.4s] If you're already over there too like this is a good way to maybe like get your friends
[2148.9s] to be like yeah no pressure but you should come see these these guys live show because
[2154.2s] it's gonna be nuts.
[2157.9s] There's a big pause after that.
[2160.1s] I too know how to shut down a scene.
[2162.7s] We all just were taking a moment to think like yeah it is gonna be nuts.
[2167.8s] I was trying to think of something that didn't rhyme with nuts.
[2172.5s] Now I can only think of things that rhyme with nuts.
[2174.9s] That's right.
[2176.1s] Thank you so much for being here.
[2177.5s] We hope to see you at the live show next week and now we'll get you back to the
[2180.8s] episode.
[2181.1s] Thank you.
[2182.1s] Bye.
[2190.6s] We'll maintain the connection.
[2193.5s] Do we both need to drink it?
[2194.8s] How does this work?
[2196.2s] Uh yes yes dear you see her madly and then okay and the ichor of the the madness
[2204.7s] okay the ichor of the devil's madness crown and she squeezes this seed pod into the
[2215.5s] into the vial and it turns like this black before going back to the orange.
[2221.5s] Yes both of you need to take a drink as
[2223.7s] as we only have a few more moments until this until your connection runs out uh do it do it now.
[2231.5s] Yes cheers lip-synchy.
[2234.6s] Cheers let's go save the world.
[2236.0s] Sip sip sip.
[2238.7s] Take a big swig and there's a shot shot shot shot shot shot shot shot shot shot shot.
[2245.8s] And this this music in the background just rings up and all of the people from little
[2251.0s] leaf come in and they're all just cheering you on.
[2254.4s] All the sick ones.
[2255.6s] Yeah that's right all the sickly individuals who can barely walk have made it for the
[2259.8s] shot shot shot.
[2260.4s] Rains in the roof.
[2263.6s] And there's another deafening crack and the two of you have vanished from this location.
[2272.2s] The red light glares again and that same guttural horn echoes out shaking your bones.
[2279.8s] You hear from somewhere in the darkness this
[2284.4s] droning moan coming from everywhere and nowhere all at the same time.
[2291.2s] We don't have our weapons on us do we?
[2293.8s] I'm pretty sure everybody had their weapons.
[2295.6s] Yeah?
[2296.8s] Yeah I don't think we took the weapon.
[2298.5s] Okay well also I'm magic so.
[2301.2s] Jared's bad.
[2302.0s] Yeah Jared's really not very good at his job.
[2303.5s] Jared's not great at his job thank goodness.
[2306.5s] Yeah.
[2307.0s] Yeah all right so I feel surrounded.
[2312.8s] Um do you have any do you have any suggestions or?
[2317.6s] I know nothing really come to mind other than like let's try and get these chains off of us.
[2324.6s] Bort pulls out the battle axe that he's got and tries to uh to free you if he can
[2333.7s] reach you I'm assuming he'd be able to.
[2335.9s] Well cutting down to like your own foot would be difficult with bAlydince.
[2339.0s] Yeah that's true see you though is like whoa whoa whoa whoa.
[2343.4s] Yeah big like two-handed chop down on your chains.
[2347.7s] Yeah it swings down and echoes out and you you look back and the chains have broken
[2354.4s] shattered on the ground there's a crack up through your axe though.
[2359.0s] Thanks.
[2360.3s] I mean I just hope it was worth it.
[2363.9s] Oh just hope it was worth it.
[2365.9s] Do you have something to say to me?
[2368.4s] No just hope it's worth it.
[2371.1s] Your turn she reaches out her hand for the axe.
[2374.9s] Yeah hand it over.
[2379.3s] Hope you've enjoyed having both of your legs.
[2384.7s] Do I have to roll?
[2387.3s] He's proficient I probably held an axe like four times I don't know.
[2392.5s] Uh yeah roll give me a roll uh plus strength.
[2398.3s] Okay oh god.
[2402.7s] So it's plus two roll a d20.
[2404.4s] Okay yeah no I'm just like I'm I'm making my intention it's not to actually cut off his leg.
[2413.5s] 20 not natural.
[2416.6s] You swing the axe down with your eyes open or closed.
[2421.9s] Closed I'm gonna freak him out as much as possible.
[2427.3s] No you swing you swing the axe down you're squinting as you do it
[2432.3s] and right before the blade hits you see a glimpse of a clear picture of flint before you.
[2443.1s] The axe connects and shatters the shackles and Bort is before you again.
[2449.5s] Thanks for that.
[2451.1s] Lucky shot.
[2452.4s] I reach back out to take the axe and go work on guacamole's chains.
[2457.9s] So do you hear flint in your head?
[2462.4s] He's been very quiet since well since the thing happened.
[2468.4s] Since the backstabbing and body takeover yeah yeah I'd probably be kind of mad too.
[2473.4s] I mean again again I don't it wasn't really a backstabbing
[2477.4s] we weren't given another option.
[2481.1s] Like I see I could maybe see that from your perspective but I but I don't want to um and she.
[2487.9s] Oh because how long did you guys have that list of all the things you needed
[2491.3s] in order to get me a new body and put my soul in there.
[2494.1s] Oh oh I'm sorry.
[2495.1s] Because it seemed like it was a while.
[2496.6s] I'm sorry did um all the interruption of like
[2501.2s] the things that happened on the way to the world ending interrupt you getting your body back.
[2507.6s] Very much so yes.
[2508.9s] Oh well I'm very sorry.
[2510.4s] It was like one of the things you guys had from like so long ago.
[2514.0s] Listen you should have taken that up with flint.
[2518.7s] I did.
[2519.3s] Well now what are you going to do?
[2521.6s] Are you going to go through the list of things in order to find flint a body?
[2526.2s] Oh I mean I don't I don't know if he's still with us.
[2530.9s] What?
[2531.4s] As I said very very quiet since the thing.
[2534.9s] Feel like there's an asterisk like in comic books it's like
[2538.1s] Dumbgeons fans remember back in season one episode 14 when Bort had his head chopped off.
[2544.4s] Yeah.
[2544.8s] Yep.
[2546.7s] Oh good lord.
[2550.0s] I don't think I'm ever not going to be mad at you but I think that um us fighting
[2555.2s] likely isn't helping our situation.
[2557.1s] Please don't cut my bird.
[2559.5s] Okay okay yeah no I wasn't gonna.
[2562.2s] Uh axe swings down over the chains and they snap free.
[2566.6s] Is this axe hoop now Russ is it garbage?
[2569.5s] Every hit is taking another chunk out of it as it appears to you.
[2574.4s] Okay it could maybe have like one more hit in it though.
[2577.9s] Yeah I mean an axe even if you turn it around is a blunt force weapon.
[2582.2s] Doesn't have to be sharp to do the job and even at the end you got a stick.
[2588.0s] All right we're free.
[2590.2s] There's definitely something out there do you think when the red light goes on
[2598.7s] we could see in the dark just throw in a theory out there.
[2605.9s] How big is the circle of light that we're seeing?
[2608.4s] 30 feet across.
[2610.9s] I mean it's worth a shot.
[2613.1s] So Thea wants to wait until the light comes on
[2621.3s] and stick her hand out to see if she can see it.
[2626.7s] Thea and Bort are standing near the edge of the spotlight.
[2630.0s] The sound of the groaning is getting closer
[2633.1s] and the light goes again and the horn sounds and there's this screeching noise.
[2642.1s] This new screeching noise that comes with it.
[2645.3s] Thea moves to put her hand out beyond the spotlight and we cut to a prison sound.
[2653.5s] Grancis is seen he's looking in his book.
[2661.5s] He's squinting in the dark trying to kind of pilfering through the pages.
[2671.4s] There's this echoing crack of sound and displacement of dust and debris
[2678.3s] as Vorunax and Lipsinki who you're now like thrown by the travel.
[2686.3s] Nauseous would be kind in this manner.
[2690.8s] This was not a easy portal as Squeaky McLeemerson has created for you.
[2698.1s] Oh that was not normal.
[2701.9s] Yeah that was bad.
[2705.6s] I don't taste good.
[2706.7s] I don't know.
[2708.0s] That was not...
[2711.6s] How about we just save the world real quick and then stop coming back here.
[2715.1s] Save the world and live forever?
[2717.1s] Yep yep yep.
[2721.8s] Oh thank fucking god you're here.
[2724.3s] Oh whoa wait that was the first time anybody said that.
[2729.9s] Well it's not because of you being here it means that we did things right.
[2736.7s] Oh okay yeah I know.
[2738.7s] I'm still glad to see you Grancis.
[2740.7s] I'm glad to see you too Vorunax.
[2745.3s] How are you?
[2746.0s] Are you okay?
[2746.9s] Are you I mean aside from the whole prison thing you're alive if it's everybody else alive
[2752.7s] like catch us up.
[2753.7s] Look to your left.
[2756.9s] Okay.
[2757.5s] You see a Grancis who's been like splayed out across the floor.
[2762.3s] Oh god what?
[2763.5s] Look to your right.
[2765.8s] Okay there's a Grancis that's sleeping in a cot.
[2770.3s] Oh they need to get on.
[2771.6s] I mean yeah good for that Grancis.
[2775.9s] Yes I'm happy that that Grancis is not on the rack I guess.
[2783.2s] So Grancis is fine we've established.
[2786.1s] Doing you know doing pretty good.
[2791.0s] You two know the inner workings.
[2792.7s] How do you get out of here?
[2794.4s] I had a goblin help me the last time.
[2798.1s] Oh you're talking about Terry.
[2803.1s] Oh no.
[2804.0s] Was it a different goblin?
[2805.2s] It was a different goblin.
[2805.9s] It was Flammacan she broke in.
[2807.5s] It was a grossly spirit.
[2808.9s] She got me out.
[2809.5s] It's how I got out the first time.
[2811.8s] Through all the things that you know just walked right on out it was easy peasy.
[2817.4s] Not sure how you didn't see that one coming.
[2820.2s] I don't know either Grancis but it's neither here nor there.
[2823.6s] We're uh there's an easy way of getting out of here that doesn't require a goblin.
[2827.2s] Oh good oh good good good good good.
[2829.8s] It's called a key.
[2831.1s] Oh you got a key.
[2832.7s] Extended leash key.
[2834.2s] Oh hey that doesn't that that looks funny.
[2839.5s] Yeah what's funny about it?
[2842.2s] Well it looks like a spoon.
[2844.9s] It's just kind of like a spoon because it serves up freedom let's go.
[2847.9s] And I use a spoon to open the fucking gate.
[2854.5s] Can this episode be called serving up freedom?
[2858.0s] I would hope so.
[2859.1s] Of course the American says serving up freedom.
[2862.0s] Well I mean.
[2863.1s] It could not have been better.
[2864.9s] The transition from Grancis I'm so glad to see you to instantly irritate him.
[2869.8s] Well it's Grancis' superpower.
[2872.7s] Right oh good okay uh the spoon goes into the lock and you hear it like you hear the
[2882.1s] mechanism go and the door leans open.
[2889.5s] You push it open and step out into the hall and there's a long hallway either side of you
[2897.5s] and down at the end off to your right as you step out is a cracked open door.
[2902.8s] A little bit of light looks like from a lantern or a torch um peering through.
[2910.7s] The three of you step out and Grancis kind of tucks his book into his side bag and
[2916.9s] then he's gone and he's gone and his night hunter is in here somewhere.
[2921.5s] I saw her.
[2923.1s] Then we should find night hunter.
[2932.7s] Dumbgeons and Dragons Season 2 Episode 149 starring Amy More as Thea and Night Hunter.
[2939.1s] Carla Maxted as Lipsinki.
[2941.2s] Tom Laird as Flint with Kyle Claset as Vorunax and Russ More as your dungeon master.
[2946.9s] Dialogue Editing by Carla Maxted and Sound Design by Russ More.
[2950.9s] This episode featured music from Epidemic Sound and sound effects from Epidemic Sound,
[2955.1s] Boom Library and Sound Ideas.
[2956.8s] And a huge thank you to our supporting producers.
[2959.2s] Gabriel Lynch, Jessica Babyok, Cat Waterflame, Jacob Madden, Christian Brown,
[2964.1s] Craig Zeiss, Perry Matey, Angerong Kiersen, LA Branton, Nathaniel Teeter, Destiny and
[2970.3s] Old School Gamer D. Like what we do? Support the productions that we put together
[2974.6s] like Dumbgeons and Dragons and Facing Fate and get countless hours of amazing bonus content
[2979.5s] at Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast.
[2982.4s] We hope to see you over there.
[2984.0s] That's it for now. Have a great week. We'll talk to you soon.
[3005.2s] I hate to be a bopper, but perhaps you could let me out of the cage now.
[3011.9s] Do you ever sometimes feel like you're in the middle of a game you don't know how to play?
[3016.4s] Yeah. Yeah. It's called life.
[3020.2s] I was talking as Thea Tabort. Everyone's like, yeah, no guys, I'm in character right now,
[3026.7s] but it's good to know everyone else is just as confused as I am in life. Good stuff. Okay.
[3032.4s] Okay. We have a baseline. We don't know what's happening.
[3036.3s] Oh, I love it. We'll build off of it.
[3038.7s] Thea with the relatable content.
[3042.5s] So much so you guys didn't even know I was in character.
[3045.5s] Didn't even know. Like, yeah.
[3046.6s] Yeah.
[3048.6s] Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Dumb Dragons production.